Cereal is the breakfast of champions, the morning chow with addition of cow and the early beast’s easy feast. It doesn’t take much to get rolling, no pans or ovens or anything like that, Just get yourself a bowl and some milk and you are ready to go. There are hundreds of cereals on the market, some that are sugar coated and some that are very healthy. You have name brand options and general ones that are bagged and given hilariously close names to the known box. But one thing stands out in the cereal world…. most people are fiercely loyal to their favorites and are loyal to ours. That is why we created the cereal power rankings for 2020.
The person who loves cheerios usually wants no part of those bastard corn flakes. And the raisin bran lover could give two hoots to hear about rice chex life. We understand this, but are still going to jump into the bowl and put our our cereal power rankings for 2020. You might think we are right on the money or think we are crazier than a rat in a brick outhouse. And keep in mind, there are TONS of different brands and flavors. SO we are going to do our top 20. We don’t care about vitamins or health in our rankings, just taste and possible a few points for marketing.
Before we get started, we have a few honorable mentions that did not make our top 20 list. Obviously they are not good enough to write more about but you know what… on a certain morning with a certain feeling, these can be quite good and hit the right spot. Those are Rice Chex,
20. Cap’n Crunch – We know this is too low for a lot of you, but we can’t get past the fact that you cut the crap out of the top of your mouth every time you eat a bowl. And we haven’t gotten to where we eat them so much to create a mouth roof protecting callus and they no longer inflict pain on a regular basis. For the pure pain of eating, it is number 20 and might be out of the list next time.
19. Lucky Charms – The marshmallows are tasty, but the other part is just bland. So once you quickly get through eating all the rainbows, horseshoes, green clovers and stars… all that is left is bland grains. You were very happy then extremely sad. I would rather have a cereal that is good to the last bite.
18. Honey Smacks – Not the best, not the worst. I bet it is hard to find someone who thinks Honey Smacks is the best cereal ever made. They eat it 7 days a week and crave it in the middle of the night. I would say most of us think it is fine but nothing too special. It is different than most out there, but just not the prom queen. Just a cool dude who hangs out and most people think he is fine.
17. Corn Flakes – People have different opinions on this cereal and it probably depends on what else you are putting into the bowl I would say half of all corn flake eaters are putting a bunch of sugar on it. Well in our humble opinion, that is kind of cheating a taking away from the actual taste. Yes, and salad is great with a fillet minion on it, but is it really a salad? We don’t think so. But really, corn flakes is not bad at all on its own.
16. Kix – There is nothing exciting about kix. No awesome cartoon spokesman that is telling me to buy this cereal so I can run faster and lift more weights. But man, it is pretty good. The shape is fun and it stays pretty crunchy. I belive it comes in berry flavor too. We haven’t had those because the original is always better.
15. Fruit Loops – One of the original sugar cereals. When you open the box, you know exactly what you are going to get because the smell is distinctive. Those little circle will cut your mouth up if you are not careful so our move it let them soak for a while. Toucan Sam is awesome and you can see his highlights in the video below. Be careful because you will want fruit loops after.
14. Trix – Continuing our run on sugar cereals, Trix comes in just higher that FL because of the fun shapes. They take the boring color loops and actually make the shapes like the fruit. Now as a kid, I preferred that because it gave me a fun game to play in my bowl…. Eat the grapes first, then oranges, etc… It looked like a fruit salad that I actually wanted to eat. As for taste, pretty much like any of the others… delicious.
13. Apple Jacks – Why does this cereal rank higher than it’s almost twin in Fruit Loops in our cereal power rankings… The answer is simple. Flavors. With Apple Jacks you have apple and cinnamon. Simple and tasty. Just like foil and cooking spray, never get the cheap knockoff version because it is never close to the original. Pay the few extra bucks and get the green box with the delicious rings.
12. Reece’s Puffs – Now comes the time in the list where we completely make fun our our list. Why is this cereal not in the top 10? Iconic duos in the food world are that for a reason, and chocolate and peanut butter top the list. Half these little balls of goodness is chocolate and half are peanut butter. I think the reason is that we did not have it as a kid because the cereal did not debut until 1994. There are no childhood memories of eating the whole box because it was a special treat and before your brother or sister go to it. Nostalgia makes a huge difference in the cereal ranking world.
11. Fruity Pebbles – We like this Flintstones throwback a little bit better just because of the flakes. Apparently shape is a big deal to us… who knew. Either way, you were not injured eating this cereal and it went down very fast. Less chewing meant more consumption. And let’s talk about the milk after the cereal was gone. For some reason, this one has always stood out as one of the best bowl milks in the business.
Watch this dude crank down a huge bowl in around 13 minutes…
Our Top 10 Cereal Power Rankings
10. Honeycomb – Into the top 10, where each choice is more controversial that the next. Honeycomb cereal might be simple, but the taste is not.WHen poured into milk you get the overwhelming honey / vanilla flavor and a nice little glaze on honeycomb itself. And that is another reason to love this cereal is because you don’t have to try and get 20 small flakes on a spoon to get a mouthful. 3 honeycombs and you are good for that bite. They are big and tasty. Believe me, there is a massive underground following for this cereal and they came to light when post tried to change the flavor… People were very upset and post went back to the original.
9. Honey Bunches Of Oats – This is really the only cereal on this list that can claim to have multiple different flavors and textures in it. All the other are one note with one feel. And this is where HBOO stands out in a crowd. They were never the brand to have a cartoon mascot or give prizes in the box. This cereal is simple and decently healthy compared to the rest of the list.
8. Frosted Flakes – The tiger is badass and their catchphrase sticks in your head. Remember earlier in their list when we said corn flakes are a lot better with sugar. Well that is basically what frosted flakes are. It took a good idea of a decent flake and added a huge amount of tasty stuff to it. Can’t get better than that. No need for marshmallows or fruit clusters. It is simple and that is why it works. And Tony has been pitching this cereal since 1952 so that is kind of impressive.
7. Honey Nut Cheerios – Rarely does a sequel improve on the original. The Godfather Part II MIGHT be an exception and the same goes for Empire Strikes Back… But it doesn’t happen much. Except in 1979 when General Mills came out with Honey Nut Cheerios about 80 years after the original Cheerios. They had the market for cereals that every household had in their pantry. It was considered healthy by parents and kids liked the taste. But some brilliant bastard in the basement came up with a way to enhance the original recipe with almond and honey and it was believed enough to test the market. Well it worked and in a big way. You don’t see original Cheerios on this list do you? That is because unless covered in sugar it is super bland. With HNC, you don’t have to add anything.
6. Cookie Crisp – I mean, it is literally cookies for breakfast. No kid in their right mind would not love this cereal. Raise your hand if you want to eat chocolate chip cookies instead of oatmeal? Yeah… every single hand is raised up including the parents. Chet from your weekend biking club might be the only one and he is trying to get healthy because his wife is divorcing him. Either way, This one was a once a year purchase in my house because of the obvious unhealthy connotation of cookies for breakfast. SO we have to actually divide it into other zip lock bags so each kids got their fair share. Then, each bag went with you to your room. This is the only cereal rare enough to get the OK from the parents to do that and why it is up near the top of our cereal power rankings.
5. Rice Krispies – A classic and staple of most pantry’s throughout the 80s and 90s. This cereal is not overly saturated with sugar (though a lot of people put a spoonful on) and is headed by 3 badass elves names Snap, Krackle and Pop. You can hear the cereal when you put the milk on…. that is worth a few points on its own. So as long as you eat them fast enough to stay crispy, you are good to go. And lets never forget about rice krispie treats. No other cereal can create a desert that everyone from 2-90 years old really enjoys. If you don’t know, learn how to below.
4. Golden Grahams – This is purely for taste and availability in the pantry. Parents bought it because it comes across as somewhat healthy, at least a lot healthier than many others. And they know their kids eat it because it is very tasty. As a kid, beyond breakfast, this was a great snack. You didn’t need milk to enjoy it. And the parents again, didn’t care because the perceived health value and because it shut their mouths. And when it comes down to brass tacks… all parents really want is for their kids to shut their mouths.
3. Cocoa Puffs – Now this one stems back to childhood for us. Our parents didn’t buy this a lot so when we go it, it was a damn treat. Add on to the fact you basically had chocolate milk when finished and the c-puff is a homerun. According to Dead Chronicle, eating chocolate for breakfast can add benefits to our day including cognitive function – abstract reasoning, memory, focus. Now that is some good science and why it is number two on our cereal power rankings for 2020.
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch – Some will say CTC go robbed here and that they deserve that top spot. And you might be right. Any list that has it lower that this spot is bull crap and the writer can’t be taken seriously. They are a hack and have no taste buds. Yes, we are very passionate about CTC and the positive effect it has on our life. This is the choice when on death row and they are charging up the chair. You can eat this delicious cereal for breakfast, lunch or dinner and no one can judge you for it. It is that good. “Cereal for dinner? Oh, it is Cinnamon Toast Crunch… good choice!”
1. Life – This might be a controversial #1 pick… probably just based on the fact that it is not really sugar based and some might think it can be bland. But Life cereal has that tasty cinnamon backbone with a crunch. The kicker is that it is even good when soggy, some say it is better that way. It is one you can add fruit to and not make it worse. We have never had a bad bowl of Life. When on your death bed and looking back at your life, you might not be disappointed that you didn’t get to work more, but you will be disappointed you didn’t get to eat more life cereal. When I go, put a few boxes in my casket just incase I can take something with me to the next life. I mean if Mikey likes it, we are good to go for the number 1 cereal in 2020.
There you have it, our cereal power rankings. We know most of you have changes and that is ok. We can disagree with each other and still be friends. We will come out with our worst cereals in the world soon and you can compare. Just be prepared… Grapenut fans, for a rude awakening.
At least we didn’t include Sugar Rice Krinkles and their serial killer clown spokesman.
Read more fun rankings articles and food and drink right here on Not Yet Fired.